It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
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I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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