return my video game
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
