Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
