moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
