nut hugger
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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