if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
