Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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