that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
