R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
