I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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