So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
