dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
