I'm lost and stupid without you.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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