As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
