yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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