You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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