what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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