went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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