ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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