No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
