I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
