She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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