When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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