Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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