all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
