Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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