cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
