just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
