names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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