I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
