I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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