Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
