peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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