Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
