if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
