I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
