Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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