I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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