carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
