All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize