Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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