Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
