Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
