WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
