Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
