she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
