And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
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I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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