I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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