Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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