Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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