is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
