His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize