he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
