ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize