Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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