I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
