Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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