"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
