i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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