Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Life is so much better after having sex.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
