i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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