I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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