member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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