Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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