You really coming over, don't trick.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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